I Am Not Myself These Days

Josh Kilmer-Purcell grew up in Wisconsin but after he moved to New York City, his life was anything but ordinary. His memoir I Am Not Myself These Days is about his first year in NYC, his career as a drag queen and his relationship with his crack-addicted prostitute boyfriend. Reading this book was sort of like watching a reality TV show or a train wreck in that I couldn't stop or look away.

A typical night for Kilmer-Purcell as described in the book consists of spending hours getting into his drag queen "Aquadisiac" costume, drinking more vodka than he can remember, performing at a night club in his costume which features fish bowls with live goldfish in them for breasts, coming home to sleep for a few hours if he's lucky, and then getting up to go and work at an advertising agency. When Aqua meets Jack, a male escort who lives in a luxury penthouse apartment, they fall in love and Josh moves to the penthouse. Their relationship becomes complicated fast as Jack's drug problems spiral out of control and Josh's drinking (in order to shave 7 inches or more off his waist to fit into his costumes) follows. The tumultuous year is almost unbelievable with the crazy New York nightlife and the ins and outs of the relationship between these two men. One of my favorite parts is when Josh's mother visits. Josh and Jack must concoct a plausible story for Jack's job that would involve him being paged at all hours and they come up travel agent to the very rich. When Josh's coworker Laura has lunch with Josh and his mother, mom asks, "So Laura, have you ever used Jack's services?" The author describes this moment as the kind he lives for and rightfully so. Overall, I enjoyed this book although I found myself exhausted just reading about this lifestyle. I can't imagine what living it must have been like.